Home Country: A case of a missing rooster

Published 9:17 am Thursday, December 2, 2021

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By Slim Randles

We almost believed we had a crime wave going on, which perplexed us all, especially since it’s Christmas and all.

It all began when old man Ortega’s rooster disappeared. He reported it to the police, too, who thought this neighborhood alarm clock finally met with a dissatisfied customer who was now gleefully making dumplings.

The police said as much to Ortega, and the old man wanted to know what the police were going to do about it. Well, since it had been almost a week since they’d had a complaint come in, the chief sent young Glen around the neighborhood asking chicken questions. Everyone denied ending ol’ Doodle’s career … when they finished laughing. Old man Ortega got a copy of the report.

Ortega had his suspicions, of course. There was one neighbor lady who had once complained about the rooster to Ortega, and he had defended to her very face his rooster’s right to crow. She then asked if he couldn’t get ol’ Doodles operated on, like they do to dogs, and get his doodler clipped so he’d be singing blanks, as it were.

Ortega hotly replied that anyone who would deliberately maim an American rooster would steal sheep.  Later on, he apologized and offered to buy her some ear plugs. She passed on the ear plug offer, but poured him a cup of coffee and that seemed to be that.

But still, ol’ Doodles was gone, and there was no denying that.  We finally put two and two together when another neighbor caught a coyote going over the fence with one of his hens, but we always wondered about that doodler-snipping operation. We’ll have to ask Doc about it.


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