By Karen Y. Stevens

 

As most of you know, I have my very first Grandbaby (Waylon), who is now about 7 weeks old.

A few weeks ago, after putting Waylon down for a nap, my husband and I were visiting with my daughter-in-law (Ashlee).  She said that she and Eric had been talking about how great their love was for Waylon, and they wondered if their parents loved them as much.  (As in her parents, and David and I with Eric).

A thousand things went thru my mind at the second she said this, so my response was just nodding my head in agreement, as my husband proclaimed yes, for sure.

I have had that love for my two boys since they were born.  If I wouldn’t have had a thousand thoughts floating thru my mind, I would have told Ashlee that I still have that love for my boys.  That no matter what they do, I will always love them.  They have disappointed me, hurt me, made me angry, frustrated me, along with making me very proud, but the love continues no matter what.

At the time, my thousand thoughts took me to the relationship that I had with my parents.  I wanted to tell Ashlee that all parents have that instant deep love, but I do not believe that is entirely true, so I could not let those words come out.

I say “not entirely true” because I think maybe most parents have that love when children are first born, but some parents turn their anger, or disappoints on to their children, to the point they lose the love they had.  I think there are parents that blame their newborn children for their various problems, as in taking up all their time, messing up their bodies, spending too much money on the child, etc. and in turn, the parents yell at the children to where it becomes a habit.

Children read this as lack of love.

It’s so sad to see this for children, and the parent.

No one wins; they both seem lost.

I’m not saying that I’ve never yelled at my children, because I have, but it’s always been out of frustration, not because I did not love them.

You know the old saying, “boys will be boys”, and actually, I had great boys most of the time.  Most of the things they did wrong were because they thought it would be fun and or their friends were doing it, and they were too naive to see any harm.

I’m thankful that God took care of them, and I’m so thankful that God can give us that vast love for our children to overlook their faults; to see only the good.

I’m also thankful that God has that overwhelming love for us.  That no matter how rebellious, bad or selfish we are, He still has that awesome love to whisper in our ear, or wrap His arms around us, and pull us back into His grace; into His love.  The master of parenting loves you.

God will extend that overwhelming love and grace to you if you will let Him.

 

Karen Y. Stevens is the founder of Orange County Christian Writers Guild