Good family and friends

Published 10:19 am Monday, July 23, 2018

By Karen Y. Stevens


I have been ill for the last 2 weeks and it has shown me what great friends I have.

I know it is a lot of trouble to go out of your way for someone because I have done it. My love language is not the nurturing kind, but it is acts of service. I feel best, or whole when I’m doing something for someone else. And even though that is my primary love language, sometimes I find it difficult to fit into my schedule, someone’s illness or problem.

So, it really warmed my heart when my family, and dear friends, would drop what they were doing, and run to my aid.

I really don’t like attention when I’m ill. Any other time bring it on. I feel like I must be worthy of all their efforts when I am sick.

I don’t lay there thinking “Oh, this is great, I have my family and friends waiting on me.”

No, I lay there very uncomfortable that they are there showing me attention. No one likes to be felt sorry for. Somehow it makes you feel less.

Philippians 2:4 states “Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

My husband and I have been married for 30 years, so I tend to take advantage of him when he takes care of me. And by that, I mean I expect it. He should be there for me, just as I am there for him. Not that I’m not grateful; I am, he is a wonderful man, and husband.

Galatians 6:2 states, “And in carrying one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

And then in 1 Peter 4:9, “Be hospitable to one another without complaining.”

I can be hospitable to anyone when they are sick. They are so vulnerable and helpless; you want to do things for them. It’s when they are healthy and obnoxious that the complaining from me starts.

Unfortunately, the Bible doesn’t say “only if there not being obnoxious!”

What is really funny, 95- percent of the time it’s our own minds that make us think someone is being obnoxious, or unkind.

We perceive people thru a lot of different colored lenses, and they are usually not rose colored. Even though only God can heal us when we are ill, we can heal our minds, or at least change them. If you liked someone, and those feelings changed along the way, it wasn’t the other person. It was you. Some action or event pushed you in that direction, but it was your thoughts and what you chose to believe.

Next time, try and stand firm in the original thoughts you had of someone, and block out any negative comments from other people. Pray for yourself and the other person.

Then you will be one of those friends that it talks about in 1 Peter 3:8 – “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.”

When you’re ill or down, is the time you need those good friends and family members. We can all be good friends, and family members, if we work at it.


Karen Y. Stevens is founder of Orange County Christian Writers Guild