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I notice that emergency situations and deadlines are never spaced to make life bearable.

They always tend to hang around in groups and attack at once. Maybe they smell the fear and frayed nerves on us.

It’s never a Monday where a little project comes up while you are sitting waiting for something to do.

“Cure for cancer? Sure, just let me finish this cup of coffee.”

No, it’s problems, big, small and in between all striking at once.

“Steal the Infinity stones!? Repaint the house because of silly HOA requirements! And what do you mean we are out of coffee!?”

(Author’s note: this house has never encountered an out of coffee crisis. If we do, expect there to be colorful expletives, metaphors, crying and screaming… lots of crying.)

And of course, when this happens you can expect everyone to need your time or input.

It’s not a complaint of people needing my help. On the contrary, I enjoy the idea of people needing or wanting my help or input.

Just space it out.

I am not Iron Man or Captain America, more like Aluminum Man or Lieutenant (j.g.) Orange. There are limits (a surprise I know) to my abilities before I finish my first cup of coffee.

But you know, this could be a new super hero for the Marvel Universe.

“You have heard of how the Avengers saved the Universe from the Thanos snap…”

(Cinematic music starts in the background)

“This summer, from Disney, a new hero emerges…”

(Scene cut to a coffee shop, a lady looks exhausted, pays too much for her coffee cup and turns to fill her cup)

“When disaster looms, there is only hero you can turn too…”

(Lady lifts pot to pour coffee, nothing comes out)

(She looks despondent at her empty cup. Person next to her sees this and screams in horror)

“Michael Cole stars in a Kohl Media Solutions production of a Bill the Dog film by Roswell Coffee Man..”

(Figure that looks like an adapted Iron man suit, but made out of a coffee machine jumps from behind the counter)

(He hands her porcelain coffee cup filled with coffee)

“Would you like sweetener with that”

(Cut to a scene of him walking away from the coffee shop. It exploding in the background, for no reason other than it seems like every one of these movies has something explode)

“Coming to a coffee shop near you…”

 

Michael Cole is a syndicated columnist that when he is not writing, he is plotting global domination. You can follow him at www.storyoveracup.com