OP-ED: Story over a cup: 2020, please let old acquaintances be forgot

Published 7:16 am Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Michael Cole
Story Over A Cup

For a coffee lover, 2020 was absolutely horrid.

The year began with a broken coffee pot and a trip to Walmart to replace it.

No person should ever be suffering from coffee deprivation and be forced to suffer the inhumanity of shopping. I still bear the scars both mental and physical on that shopping experience.

Once again, no one should be forced to shop without coffee.

With 2020 being what it was, my cheap replacement died shortly before the COVID lockdown. Then my wife had decided that we could save on coffee waste by buying a Keurig.

My first thought was, what was coffee waste? Was that a sort of boy band?

But, she insisted that it would allow us to only brew a cup as we needed.

I insisted that I NEEDED a pot.

I put my foot down, Mr. Coffee was always good enough for me.

We got a Keurig.

I have never had to go through so much for a single cup of coffee. Let’s see, install

Coffee K-cup, adjust computer settings and set coordinates. Power up the flux capacitor and set the drip rate to 88 drops per minute. Engage the system and wait for that single cup….

I didn’t see what I was saving. It was now taking me just as long to brew one cup as I used to take in the process of brewing an entire pot.

But still I trudged on.

No one seemed to tell my wife how easy they clogged up. So, I ended up taking it apart and cleaning the machine several times.

So, it was a constant battle of brewing a few cups, exploring the kitchen while I waited for that cup and then taking it apart and starting over.

Fun. Fun. Fun.

Well, then the holidays come and I am a mess. I do not see where there were any advantages to having a Keurig machine.

I hated it and it seemed to know it and hated me in return.

Not a slight hate, but a slow burning hate.

My wife would have no problem brewing a cup. I, on the other hand, would need to make a small sacrifice to the caffeine gods.

And then it happened.

Christmas Eve, the day when stores are a madhouse. The day where if you do not buy it before about 6 p.m. you are not buying it till the 26th of December.

I dragged myself into the kitchen and began the process of brewing a cup.

Nothing.

It had died.

I sighed. Then cussed. Then got dressed.

I was not going to go without coffee on Christmas, so I donned my Beskar armor and made my way to Walmart and bought a simple coffee pot.

And now I can once again brew a dozen normal sized coffee cups, or three Michael sized coffee cups.

In a sense, the year had gone full circle and 2020, which had seen the most frustrating year coffee wise, and a few other ways, ended on a better note.

I am sure somewhere there is a fortune cookie or Chinese proverb that says that a year that begins with happy coffee drinking will be a prosperous one.

Happy New Year!

 

Michael Cole is a syndicated columnist that when he is not writing, he is plotting global domination. You can follow him at www.storyoveracup.com