Op-Ed: Story Over a Cup: Deep doggie thoughts by Bernie

Published 12:04 am Wednesday, August 26, 2020

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Michael Cole
Story Over A Cup

Mondays can be a positive annoyance. For me lately, I have wondered why since I work from home it is not like there is a scenery change from one day to another. In many instances, I have even worked through the weekend which means there is no real change in tempo or much of anything.

My wife does work at a local high school, making her trek to work the only change in routine.

Maybe it is me just being a bandwagon hater. Garfield hates Mondays, ergo, I must hate Mondays.

Or something like that.

This morning when I was taking my dogs outside, I watched as Bernie sat in his favorite spot in the backyard and watched the world around him.

He was engrossed and looked to be contemplating his place in the Cosmos.

I know what sort of weird thoughts which will invariably cross my mind when I am lost in thought.

It made me wonder what sort of thoughts go through his head.

So, as he stared around at the world around him, I began to try and get into his head.

Why is this grass tasty and that grass not?

Why are carrots more orange than oranges? Why not call the color carrot then? I love carrots.

Why does my hooman always throw the stick I just brought to him? 

How come my hooman gets mad when I watch them go to the bathroom, but then watches me?

Why do hoomans throw away perfectly amazing smelling things and then get mad when I tear open the trash bag to get it? They didn’t want it!

So, my Mommy hooman does not like lizards brought to her. Was I supposed to cook it first?

Why are they always changing their fur?

So, I am supposed to go to the bathroom on the trees that are outside, but cannot use the bathroom on the tree they put up inside every year. Why? 

Why do my hoomans never say anything about the big truck that steals our trash every Monday? They are taking our TRASH! THAT’S OURS! 

Why are plastic bags so evil? I must destroy them all.

It is times like these that I wish I could read my dog’s minds and get a glimpse of what goes on in their minds. But, then I see Roswell run into the fence chasing a butterfly and remind myself somethings are better not known.

Michael Cole is a syndicated columnist that when he is not writing, he is plotting global domination. You can follow him at www.storyoveracup.com