Story over a Cup: Bernie disapproves of everyone

Published 12:50 am Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

Michael Cole
Story Over A Cup

Well, after 10 years, we couldn’t take it anymore.

Our house needed central AC and Heat, and we felt it was time to see if we could get a reasonable quote from a local dealer.

Now, anyone that owns pets, or are owned by pets, will know that you just do not spring an unknown person into the house. There needs to be a plan.

What to do if the person is not a dog person?

What to do if your dog is not a people person?

What to do if your dog is a people person, but for whatever reason is not that particular people person?

Where do you put the dogs while the person is there?

And so on.

We do not have many visitors to our house. And since we have had the boys, I think we have had about two people over. Both of those people were service people.

I used to have a boss that said that you never had problems, you had opportunities.

So, here were my opportunities.

Jada does not like people she does not know. Unfortunately, at 13 years of age, she does not want to know anyone but food and the bed.

Bernie is skittish around people and will bark his head off, then run from plastic bags.

Bill has never met a person he doesn’t like. Unfortunately, he also wants to be loved and will growl at other dogs since he feels he owns all people and their affection.

Rosell. Well, Roswell is just Roswell. He runs around like a pony and if you try and pet him, he will act like you are an alien trying to abduct him.

My first thought was sedatives. I dropped that because I was not sure if they would be for me or the dogs.

Then I decided that I would put the dogs on one side of the house while the AC person was there and then move them to the other side while she was on that side.

Then, I called the local AC service. And by local, I mean local. The person seeing us is actually a neighbor from a street or so over. We set the date and I started getting ready.

I really have to give a lot of props to Kacey with Innovative Air. I think that I ended up rescheduling two or three times for various reasons. She took each reschedule in stride.

Well, the day of the visit, and I was worried about how to do the dog transfer. My dogs move from the living room to the kitchen and finally outside like a wild pack of water buffalo. They also become very worked up if they become distracted.

I had my worries about how to do that.

The wife, as ever smart as she is, suggested I just put them outside. After all, that is what a fenced in yard is for.

Genius. But, if you have read my columns, you know why this is not always the best of ideas.

But, I was willing to try.

Kacey showed up, I had the dogs in the yard while she measured every nook and cranny of my house. I am not the best of housekeepers, and having a person in my home has now made me want to scrub it top to bottom.

With the measurements in hand, she explained what would happen next. And I figured that I could have the dogs outside or in a room while the workers install it over a five day period.

I then noticed that the dogs were awfully quiet. Pet parents see that silence as a warning sign.

Kacey packed to leave and I opened the front door to the sight of a brown blur into the house.

Now, I figured that if anyone was going to get out during this ordeal it would be Bill.

But no. I now have Bernie on the couch. Wagging his tail and looking at with the expression, “Hi! I am Bernie. You are in my room. Leave!”

Followed by barking. And the whole time she is going to her car, he is looking out of the window with a disapproving stare and bark.

It will be an interesting five days.


Michael Cole is a syndicated columnist that when he is not writing, he is plotting global domination. You can follow him at