Story over a cup Act now, supplies are limited

Published 7:59 pm Sunday, March 3, 2019

By Michael Cole

We had infomercials that drove us nuts. Or that one commercial that we needed to send $29.99 plus shipping and handling to address on the screen.

Whatever product it was, fishing lures that were guaranteed to catch fish. A hearing device that means we could listen in on conversations miles away or just some new gadget we didn’t need was always the item.

And of course, who can forget the ever popular singers and songwriters compilations from your childhood or before.

And they were always headlined by a celebrity.

Chuck Norris selling a gym that you might use once; Ed McMahon offering you millions just for spending millions on magazines,

The golden age of useless stuff being sold.

And it didn’t matter what time of day it was, how many times the commercial ran, or even what was being sold, you had to act now because supplies are limited.

I used to wonder if they only made one or two, or if the cantaloupe cozies were really that popular.

But before I could answer that question, technology propelled us into the digital age where you can skip commercials altogether.

For a while, I thought humanity had grown.

Then, I checked my email.

Now I am inundated with products based on the items I bought online.

Coupons for websites from retailers I shopped in with Good Friday sales, President’s Day Sales, Memorial Day Sales, Black Friday, and even Groundhog’s Day sales.

And they have become slick. Some of the emails look like legitimate emails.

Sometimes they even start the email with the words RE, so you think for a moment that it is a back and forth you have going.  I have opened plenty of those only to see about a dozen links to click and things to sell me.

The political ones are fun too.

And no matter what, unless you click and donate, your whole family is in danger. And don’t get too attached to the family dog.

I opened one the other day that I thought was from a friend (after all it had a friend’s name), but no, it was a mattress add. At least I hope it was one; I really do not want to picture why he needs the sturdy Dial-a-Comfort mattress.

But, he did at least warn me that I needed to take advantage of this..

Supplies were limited.


Michael Cole is a syndicated columnist that when he is not writing, he is plotting global domination. You can follow him at