By Karen Stevens

This month I will be married for 32 years to my dear husband, David.  

David and I pray together each morning, and this morning David thanked God for the 32 years and prayed for further years of marriage.  

After he had finished praying, I laughed and ask David why he didn’t pray for another 32 years.  

It was his turn to laugh and said, “How old would we be?”  

I fell in love with David 38 years ago because of his positive attitude, his infectious laugh, his pretty blue eyes, and he always wore a huge smile.  

Did you notice I mentioned his inner attributes first?  Not that my husband is not handsome, because he is. But I fell in love with his soul, his heart, and his qualities.  

I dated him for six years, so I knew he was not perfect before we walked down the aisle.  He had and has a very stable family life. Close ties to siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.  He is very faithful to those he loves.

He always said the “D” word was not allowed in our house.  (Divorced for those of you who didn’t pick up on that.) To this day, that word, or any semblance, is not allowed to be spoken.  

You might think this is a petty thing, but it shows the commitment we have made to each other.  

No matter what he does (LOL!), I still forgive him and the same forgiveness I receive from him.  

I know God gave me David to show me an example of unconditional love.  

Don’t get me wrong, all love is conditional other than God’s love.  And even God’s love; He will turn His back on us, if we do not repent, and try to have a relationship with Him.

The Bible states in Proverbs 29:1 that if we delay, our hearts can grow harder and more resistant toward God, until we no longer hear His voice calling us.  

The Bible warns, “A man (or woman) who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed — without remedy”.  

But God does show us Grace, if we turn from our sins.

Just like God had Hosea (vs 1), take Gomer as his wife, to show the Israelites God’s unconditional love on a human level, that they, and we could understand.  

Unlike human love, it takes years of rebellion and doing things on purpose that you know will not be pleasing to God, that will harden His heart against us.  And not that God loves us like human love, but if we keep going in a bad direction, we will get to a point that we can’t, or won’t turn from that sin, and ask God to forgive us.  

It’s “us” that does it to ourselves, not God!  

The Bible says in 1 John 3:6-7 “No one who abides in Him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen Him or known Him.  Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as He is righteous.”  

So, even though I have gotten upset with my husband, I’m quick to say I’m sorry, as well as being quick to say I’m sorry to God so I can be forgiven.  

Ephesians 4:26-27 states:  “In your anger do not sin: Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”  

Which means it’s ok to be angry but get over your anger quickly.  This holding on to “anger practice” is what puts us in that unforgiving mode.  

I’m praying for another 32 years with my husband, (even though he might not.  LOL!), and I know the only way I will be successful, is if I let the anger go, and continue to strive for a good relationship with my husband, and God.

 

Karen Y. Stevens is the founder of Orange County Christian Writers Guild