By Michael Cole

 

I have my AC on right now.

Yep, and earlier this week I was wondering if I would need to have all the clothes I own on in addition to the heater as high as it would go just to stay slightly cold.

But that’s Texas. We know the weather will change.

Yes, we know complaining about it will fix nothing.

But heck, I am gonna complain. Just because it would be weird not to complain about something I have no control over.

Like Halley’s Comet. Darn you celestial body for waiting every 76 years!

The old adage is, don’t like the weather, wait five minutes.

I am not even sure if it takes five minutes anymore.

I can swear, yesterday, I was alternating the AC and Heater in my truck with each stop light.

Warm, then cold. Ah, rainstorm at this road construction; a desert at the I-10 on-ramp.

I could swear there was snow at Wal-Mart.

Wait, be right back.

Sorry, had to go turn on the heater.

Where was I?  

Oh, weather by Sybil.

It is the first day of February, by all rights, it should be winter in the Northern Hemisphere. Yet, I am tempted to have a barbecue tomorrow. But, I won’t because I know for a fact that if I start picturing slow cooked chicken with that sweet, smoky barbecue chicken flavor, I will not stop picturing it.

Or imagining that juicy explosion of taste as I bite into the meat after its smells have filled my nostrils with aromas that are heavenly…

Uh, I need to focus.

But, I know the second I decide to do that, the Polar Vortex will become the Polar Express and be camped out with 50 feet of snow in my yard.

It never fails.

And I know that should I decide not to barbecue, it will be 75, sunny and beautiful outside.

Us Texans are used to that.

Nature likes to toy with us. I guess it jealousy for not being from Texas.

And I know that since I was a child, there have been 80 degree Christmases that have been followed by 20 degrees on  New Year’s day. I have worn shorts outside over Christmas break, and a parka on Spring Break.

So it’s not new, it is not even surprising.

It’s not climate change, its Texas.

 

Michael Cole is a syndicated columnist that when he is not writing, he is plotting global domination. You can follow him at www.storyoveracup.com