Talking About Parenting: When kids happened to me

Published 3:43 pm Thursday, December 27, 2018

By Chris Kovatch


I had good intentions of writing on a specific topic for this week’s article. While the piece is pretty much complete, it wasn’t exactly how I wanted it. I tend to like things to be a certain way for me to ‘sign off’ on them. This desire for control tends to permeate every corner of my life. Or at least it used to.

These days I still like certain things to happen in certain ways. For the most part, my intentions are good, and the intent is for things to go smoothly. But that’s not always how it comes across.

Before kids, I was extremely obsessive about where things went and how things should be. Beginning to clean the house at 11:00 p.m. on a weeknight wasn’t out of the ordinary. A place for everything and everything in its place was my mantra.

What happened to me you might ask? Kids happened to me.

I shared a meme the other day that read “I was normal 3 kids ago”. This rang so true with me. I think back to when we just had our first three kiddos and life seemed so simple. I find that quite humorous. Three kids? Simple? But it was. For us. I always say it’s all about perspective.

These days craziness is our norm. We plan and schedule but that only takes you so far. Most evenings we are on the road running between activities until late and we pull into the driveway just in time for a quick dinner and baths for the kids.

I often wonder what things will be like when the kids are all grown. Will it be quiet in our house? Will we always have kids in some sort or fashion in our home? Losing our craziness in its entirety honestly scares me. Our craziness keeps me going. It keeps my mental game strong.

But more importantly, it equals time with my kiddos. Sure, they can be trying at times, but they all can’t be a perfect child like I was. Right, mom?

All kidding aside, in the grand scheme of things, our children are with us for such a short time. We should make the most of it. Planning and control both serve purposes and are handy tools to wield, but so is flying by the seat of your pants.

This next year I will work on being more spontaneous and letting go a bit more. I hope my kids see the wisdom in sometimes just going with the flow.