By John Warren

 

The world was a peaceful place for Adam.

In fact, is so peaceful he was bored.

Do not get me wrong I am not saying it is Eve’s fault that we have disagreements but only that it takes two people to have different opinions.

Then you can look at their children Cain and Able and see that it didn’t matter whether you were male or female that differing opinions can escalate into violence even between brothers.

So when you realize that slaying someone with harsh words or conking your brother over the head is not the answer, how do you work to change the relationship in order to bring about restoration?

I am reading a little book written by Rev. Matt Miofsky pastor of The Gathering United Methodist Church in St. Louis, Missouri titled, Happy? What It Is and How to Find It.

He writes “When we suffer terrible hurts, the natural inclination is to let anger lodge in our hearts and become resentment or bitterness.”

But over time we realize that the only person hurt by that anger is us.  We live in a world of relationships, we cannot wall ourselves off.  So how can we find happiness through good relationship?

One step is to seek a good relationship through forgiveness.  Forgiveness can lead to reconciliation and restoration of the relationship to where it was.

When we were engaged, our first argument was over getting a dog.  I had had a dog numerous times as a single man but my wife said we didn’t need one.  Of course, we didn’t need one, but I wanted one again because I enjoyed what they brought to my life and I thought it would be good for us.  But, she did not want one.  I had to decide was this worth jeopardizing our relationship or it was not.

Needless to say five months later we became the owners of Astro who has enriched our lives.

Forgiveness means to start hoping for reconciliation rather than revenge.  Which requires us to change the way we see the other person and sometimes when the hurt has been deep or multiple times, forgiveness simply means being able to be in the same room without going nuts.

Either way, the seed of forgiveness begins within you.

No matter how difficult forgiveness, maybe it is the path to our own healing and happiness.

Proverbs 19:11 “Those with good sense are slow to anger, and it is their glory to overlook an offense.”

 

John Warren is Senior Pastor at First United Methodist Church, 502 North 6^th Street in Orange.