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Story Over a Cup: Coffee in the time of COVID-19

Michael Cole

It’s no secret I love coffee.

Ice Coffee, black coffee, hot, cold, creamer or no. I will drink it,

I also have no wish to get sick.

So, in this time of COVID-19, my wife has decided to up her clean game. 

She says its because she wants to keep us safe. I think its more likely to avoid breaking one or more of the Ten Commandments while teaching from home. 

Unfortunately, she doesn’t always tell me her cleaning plans. Last week, she mopped the floor with heavy bleach while I was walking the dogs. The dogs starting hacking from the smell and me, not seeing the slippery floor, slid a few feet.

On my hands mind you, no man in his right mind is ever going to mess up his wife’s freshly cleaned floor. Even if it means his life.

Well, this morning I suffered the worst of tragedies.

Last night before bed, without telling me, before bed the wife put soapy water in the coffee machine to let it soak.

As anyone knows, bubbles disappear the longer it sits. Unfortunately, the soap is still there.

Whenever I remember to, I like to set up the coffee pot the night before so all I need to do is flip the switch and have the Nectar of the Gods when I am done walking the dogs. 

I just figured I forgot to put in the grounds.

Easy fix.

So, the coffee was brewing, and the dogs were being walked.

I love the smell of coffee. 

I came in, fed the dogs, grabbed the sweetener and made my first cup of coffee.

Took the first sip.

Mother of God!!!

Did you know that a person drinking coffee with soapy water can spit coffee sixteen feet against the far kitchen wall?

And said coffee will stick to a kitchen wall painted a light blue?

And that cleaner does not remove said stain before the wife gets up?

Beyond that, no amount of sweetener, creamer or anything will remove that sudsy taste. 

I am not one to pour out coffee. I have rebrewed old coffee, microwaved it, doctored it up to make it go one more round.

Here, I heard Dr. McCoy’s words in my head, “He’s dead, Jim.”

Pot of Coffee, you will be missed I lamented as I poured it down the drain. 

Of all the lives I have known in my travels, his was the most …

Human

 

Michael Cole is a syndicated columnist that when he is not writing, he is plotting global domination. You can follow him at www.storyoveracup.com